Shoot Your Shot – How to Push Past Fear and Go After What You Want

This summer on BBC Radio One’s Life Hacks, I joined Lauren Layfield and Calum Leslie to explore why so many of us hold ourselves back and what we can do to shift that.

Whether it’s applying for a new job, asking someone out, making new friends or simply putting your ideas into the world, we all know the feeling: fear of rejection, self-doubt, and the sense that we’re not quite ready. Here’s how we can all lean into what we want, even when it feels a bit terrifying.

How To Go After Your Goals

1. Why we hold ourselves back

Your brain is wired for safety, not self-promotion. Anything unfamiliar like putting yourself forward or asking for more can feel risky, even if it’s something you truly want. Psychologically, your brain sees uncertainty as a potential threat, not an opportunity.

Rejection actually triggers the same areas in the brain as physical pain. So when we avoid risk, it’s not weakness it’s biology.

2. Start small to build confidence

Don’t pressure yourself to leap straight into the most intimidating version of your goal. Take smaller steps that gently stretch your comfort zone. This builds confidence gradually and reinforces a sense of capability.

Confidence doesn’t come before action it comes after.

“Say yes to something small that scares you just a little. Then build from there.”

3. Reframe the fear

We often imagine the worst-case scenario but rarely the best case. Instead of thinking “What if I fail?”, ask “What if this works?” This subtle reframe can change your energy and open you up to possibility.

4. How to know if a goal is really right for you

Sometimes we chase things because we like the idea of them more than the reality. If you’re unsure:

• Do a gut check. When you imagine doing this thing, do you feel energised or drained?
• Ask yourself: Do I want this for me, or because it looks good to others?

If your imagined version of success is focused more on applause than purpose, it may be the fantasy you’re drawn to, not the actual experience.

5. What happens if we don’t try?

Avoiding risk may feel safe, but it can quietly erode your confidence and keep you stuck in fear. Over time, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: you don’t try, so you don’t succeed, which then reinforces the belief that you can’t succeed.

“People regret not trying far more than they regret failing.”

6. What if rejection does happen?

Rejection doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It often just means a mismatch. Try shifting your mindset from “I hope they like me” to “Would we enjoy this together?” You get to choose too.

Also, remember this: being rejected by someone who doesn’t treat you with respect tells you more about them than it does about you.

7. Advice for job applications and goal-setting

If you’re facing repeated rejections (like applying for jobs), create psychological safety for yourself:

• Be kind to yourself even when it doesn’t go your way.
• Recruit your cheerleaders- people who will lift you up.
• Celebrate the process, not just the outcome.

Each application or action is a step forward, and that’s worth something.

You don’t need to wait until you feel ready

Readiness is often a myth. The perfect moment rarely comes. Instead, show up- even imperfectly. Take one small step. Then another. Whether it’s starting a conversation, sending that message, or asking for what you need, this summer, shoot your shot.

You deserve to try. You deserve to grow. You deserve to have a go.